With Love
by Konnie-chan
Summary: Silly little oneshot. A little angsty but not my usual type of fic. About food. really bad summary. Tsusoka. RR


A/N: Hi there...Again a first person. Again a one shot. But not so angsty or confusing this time. Well...maybe a little angsty ^-^. I've had this bugging me for weeks but I thought it was too silly to write. For what I've gathered solely through anime, the Japanese make a big deal out of cooking for their loved ones, and that's what gave me the idea. Anyway, give it a shot?   
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine *sweatdrop* You think they'd know by now.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
WITH LOVE  
  
I was really exited this morning, you know?   
  
I forget sometimes. I'm not that stupid; I can see the way their faces get that disgusted expression every time they eat my food. I know they never say anything to spare my feelings.  
  
Ok, so not all of them keep quiet, but even when they say something, it's like 'Make something else next time' or 'No, Tsuzuki, don't worry, I can cook'.  
  
But I forget. To me it tastes good, really. Heavenly.  
  
Why, you say? Shouldn't a guy that has such a passion for food know the difference?   
  
To me it tastes to afternoons with Ruka, when she'd teach me how to cook and we would laugh until our stomachs hurt. To me it tastes of family and company. Of feeling appreciated and cared about.  
  
It tastes like love.  
  
And though I know I could learn different, I can't bring myself to do it.   
  
So I forget; and I do it again. I pour my heart into something for someone I love and I think that they will be able to taste it too; that they would feel my love for them through something I made thinking about them.  
  
I was really exited this morning. Yaki-soba(*) a la Ruka; specially for you, because I know you've been a little down lately. I even went as far as to get up extra early this morning so I wouldn't be late for work and it would still be fresh once I got here.  
  
Of course, I did get here late; but that's beyond the point.  
  
They say that food is the way to a man's heart, and I truly believe that. Food is the simplest, yet warmest way to express one's feelings. So what does it mean?  
  
What does it mean when you can't make people see that?  
  
I stare at the bowl in my hands. I know it's stupid, but I feel like crying. Because it's not Ruka's fault. It can't be her fault. Because I felt her love; I can still feel it.   
  
Maybe it's my love for you what's wrong. Maybe I'm not meant to love anyone, and that's why I don't get it right. Monsters don't know what love is. Demons don't love anything.  
  
I wouldn't dream of letting you know how much it hurts.  
  
"I'm not hungry," you say, but I can see the apprehension in your eyes.  
  
It's not your fault either. So I put on a little pity show, tear up a bit, sulk and then shut up. Just the usual, stupid Tsuzuki and in five minutes you'll forget about it.   
  
I won't. I promise you I'll never forget again. I shouldn't try. I know you can love me. I know your feelings for me are starting to change. But I can't let it go any further. There's nothing I can give you if I can't do something as stupid as cooking for you.   
  
And suddenly you get up from your desk and walk to were I'm sitting; with the bowl still in my hands, ready to throw the stupid thing into the garbage can. I wouldn't want you to think I'll push you to eat it.  
  
But as soon as I lift the lid and get ready to throw it out, you stop me. Why? I know you'd rather eat dog shit.   
  
"What are you doing, baka?"  
  
"I'm getting rid of it. It's cold and I'm not really hungry either..."  
  
"Well, it's mine. If I wanna throw it away I can do it myself." you say grumpily and snatch the bowl from my hands.  
  
Why?  
  
"Hisoka, you don't have to..."   
  
I don't want you to pretend you like it. I didn't make it to torture you, for god's sake!  
  
"I'm *hungry*!! Will you let me eat in peace?"  
  
I don't know whether to laugh or cry, seeing you stuff the stupid thing in your mouth and swallowing it down without even chewing it. I can't even begin to imagine how awful it must be for you. But...  
  
Maybe you do get it, after all? Maybe you can taste it too?   
  
I seat myself quietly on top of your desk and watch you eat for a while before you notice me. Of course, you blush when you do and again I get that warm feeling in my belly. You *are* cute, no matter how adamantly you deny it. And again I feel like smiling.  
  
"Can I have some?" I ask with a smile and I can see you are relieved that I'll probably eat half of it.  
  
And you probably won't eat all of the other half, either. You do eat too little. I worry about you.   
  
You hand me a pair of extra chopsticks. I always set an extra pair when I make something for you. There's something about sharing a plate of food; I don't know, but I love it.  
  
You blush again and smile a little as you start to eat again, with me.  
  
Maybe tomorrow I'll make us Ruka's special recipe for noodles. They always make me smile and I love your smile. I'm sure you'll love it.  
  
~Owari~   
  
(*) Due a more than eloquent explanation given to me by Helene from the YNM ML (She added pictures and everything!!^-^) I changed Okinomiyaki for Yaki-soba. I also know nothing about it, but I think they're noodles. 


End file.
